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July 8/06: Jaded
I
want to start off by saying that I'm not complaining. I've had a lot
shittier jobs than reviewing porn sites. But I've been doing it for
seven--yes, seven!--years now, and I'd have to be pretty thick not to
think it's made me a bit jaded. But probably not as jaded as movie
critics who have to watch nine or ten new releases a week. My brain
would be fucked after a month of that. Nor as jaded, and this is
perhaps more to the point, as veteran porn troopers (you know who you
are) who are online looking at dirty pics and vids 20 hours a day. Then
again, I wouldn't describe myself as an addict. No,
I'm just a fan. And the fact is, I still like the stuff. I especially
like the way the Internet opened the field up for a lot of fresh talent
and people with creative ideas. Porn before the Internet wasn't just a
lot more expensive, it was boring. However the Internet is also a giant
content-devouring beast. Which means that with so much of the stuff
being produced there's bound to be a LOT of repetition. In addition, since nothing
succeeds like success, there is also a lot of flat-out imitation (see:
Porn, Reality). And finally, there is some limit to what you can
actually show people doing. I'm not talking legal limits. No kids or animals is fine
by me. I'm talking physical limits. There are only so many orifices you
can stick things in. There are only so many positions that can be
adopted. If you're launching a new hardcore site featuring, I don't
know, people fucking, then the menu is usually going to be the same:
some reciprocal oral, some fucking in different positions, maybe some
anal, and then a cumshot. This does lead to a
bit of a jaded response from yours truly. Another hardcore site, another
couple fucking on the couch. The only thing to talk about (since the
Eastern European stars aren't doing any talking) is technical stuff like
lighting and editing and what the bit rate is on the video. (And this, I
should note, is for sites that are producing their own content.
Reviewing a DVD download site involves even less work. What is there to
say?) This is one of the reasons I'm always calling for more
Internet-original porn movies with dramatic storylines. At least then
you can inject some creativity and personality. And, to give them credit, it's what
some of the reality porn sites try to do. I just wish they'd can it with
the lame comedy shtick. So . . . jaded? A little. One thing
I've noticed recently with my reviews is the number of sites I'm
sticking with a "6" or a "7". Now this isn't just me
being lazy. I think it's more the result of industry leveling. Your
standard porn paysites know what people expect for $30 a month,
and that's what they're delivering. That is, they're delivering what all
the other guys are delivering. So it doesn't surprise me that there's a
uniformity of quality in the middle. Hey, most new cars look the
same, cost the same, and get the same mileage too. But I sometimes worry
that all these "B" grades are also the effect of being jaded.
Nothing seems really great anymore. Nothing seems really bad. And in the
end it's all a matter of taste. There is one
good bit of news to report. It's often observed, without any scientific
evidence that I'm aware of, that looking at too much porn de-sensitizes
you. The way the argument goes, you start off being shocked and
disgusted by stuff that, after repeated viewing, you later find arousing
and addictive. Well, I've looked at a lot of porn over the years and I
don't think that's true. Everything that I thought was disgusting seven
years ago I still find disgusting. Meanwhile, I find some softcore
photography to be among the most erotic stuff on the Net. What I do
think happens is that one's tastes become narrower; not more extreme but
more specific. In other words, more personal. Which is why I don't worry
that much about getting jaded. The hard part is just trying to remain
consistent, and keeping as open a mind as possible.
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