| Review:
It
must
be
nearly
ten
years
ago
now
there
were
some
people
who
did
something
called
an "anal
milkshakes."
If
memory
serves
correctly
that
involved
sucking
the
milkshake
out
of
their
colons
with
a
straw.
Ass
Smoothie
is a
bit different.
The
basic
premise
is
that
a
girl
has
her
asshole
held
open
with
a
speculum
and
then
a
bunch
of
drink
ingredients
poured
in.
Then
she
jumps
around
to
mix
it
up
and
it
drains
out
and
she
(or
someone
else)
drinks
it. In
case
you
hadn't
guessed,
this
is a
novelty
site.
Which
means
it's
not
really
about
the
sex,
but
it's
more
like
something
you
join
as a
kind
of
joke.
Some
novelty
sites
are
pretty
good.
Blowjob
Races
is
one
example.
Most
are
not
so
good.
Ass
Smoothie
is
sort
of
in-between. Seeing
as
the
concept
is
everything
in a
novelty
site,
let's
start
there.
Now
most
of
you--not
all,
but
most--probably
think
the
idea
of
an
ass
smoothie
is
pretty
fucking
disgusting.
But
it's
not
quite
as
bad
as
it
sounds.
The
fact
is,
porn
performers
scrub
and
flush
their
lower
bowels
clean
enough
to
eat
your
dinner
out
of
regularly
before
most
porn
shoots
these
days
because
there's
so
much
anal.
And
not
just
anal
but
ass-to-mouth.
They
have
repeated
enemas
and
douchings
before
every
scene.
So
it's
not
like
you're
drinking
something
which
has
chunks
in
it. But
yeah,
even
so,
it's
pretty
fucking
disgusting. Another
thing
about
novelty
sites
is
that
they
generally
don't
last
that
long.
They'll
launch
with
a
bunch
of
updates
but
they
usually
run
out
of
steam
pretty
quickly.
Since
this
site
had
just
launched
shortly
before
we
visited,
we're
not
sure
how
it's
going
to
do
in
this
regard,
but
they're
off
to a
good
start.
39
episodes
were
up
and
they
were
adding
new
stuff
every
three
or
four
days.
Unfortunately
not
all
of
these
episodes
resulted
in
successful
smoothies.
One
of
the
girls
(Veronica
Rayne?)
gets
talked
into
making
a
smoothie
but
says
she
won't
drink
it.
The
producers
apparently
found
a to
drink
it
but
then
Veronica
had
an
accident
during
the
filming
and
they
couldn't
finish
it.
Then
there
is
the
Shy
Love
episode.
We
were
impressed
that
they
got
Shy
to
go
along
with
this
so
we
sat
through
a
long
pre-interview
with
the
pornstar
with
the
ginormous
front
teeth
waiting
for
the
good
stuff.
Alas,
when
they
made
the
smoothie
proposal
to
her
she
nuked
it
right
away.
With
the
classic
line:
"I'm
Shy
Love,
why
would
I
drink
something
out
of
my
ass?"
So
that's
another
episode
where
the
smoothie
didn't
actually
happened.
In
fact,
all
there
is
is
an
interview. Probably
the
most
impressive
thing
about
the
site
is
the
quality.
The
episodes
can
be
downloaded
in
three
resolutions
(all
Windows
Media),
with
the
best
coming
in
at
1440x1080
and
3500
kb/s.
There's
only
one
catch
with
this
and
that's
the
fact
that
you
can
only
download
full
episodes.
These
are
very
substantial
files,
up
to 1
Gb
in
size.
Even
the
"fast
download"
versions
are
over
100
megs.
So
you'd
better
have
a
fast
connection.
Each
episode
also
comes
with
a
good
selection
of
studio
pics
as
well,
reproduced
at
1000x750. The
other
big
thing
to
note
is
that
while
the
site
is
expensive
(we
can
imagine
the
bandwidth
costs),
it
is
also
part
of a
network
(The
Hardcore
Network,
external
link). This
is a
pretty
good
network,
featuring
a
nice
mix
of
exclusive
individual
performer
sites
with
quite
a
lot
of
licensed
material.
Still,
it
ain't
cheap. Overall
this
is a
site
that
delivers
on
its
promises
with
some
weird
fetish
shit
in
high
quality
video.
Some
of
the
girls
are
pretty
beastly,
but
you
probably
didn't
need
us
to
tell
you
that
(they
are
drinking
goop
that
drips
out
of
their
ass,
after
all).
It's
pricey,
but
you
do
get
a
lot
of
other
stuff
with
your
membership.
It's
not
our
thing,
and
no
matter
what
you
think
of
the
idea
you're
not
likely
to
find
it
very
sexy
(that
is,
jack-off
material),
but
it
is
something
that
tries
to
be a
little
different. |
